pararai | Drama: Battle of Unity

[sfx: footsteps]
Reo: Whoaaaa~, there are so many shops! Look, look, that store is selling a skincare set you can only get in this region!
Satsuki: Hey, they're selling onsen tamago over there!
Hokusai: There's a kitty in front of that store over there. It's so cute.
Reo: Wow, you're right! Maybe the cat's their mascot or something?
Iori: [a little belabored] Aaahaha, no matter when you come, this town's got a real down-home feel, don't it? Nice little town.
Zen: Yes! No matter what you do when you're here, you can't go wrong.
Reo: It's so great to get to hang out and go to an onsen with everyone~. I'm really so happy we won the battle~.
Satsuki: I know, right? And we wouldn't have been able to put on such a great festival if BAE weren't so strong of opponents. We really had to make some bones about it to get the job done.
Zen: I believe what you mean to say is "we had to break some bones".
Satsuki: Tch... step off, I knew that. It just came out of my mouth a little wrong.
Hokusai: The meaning you were trying to say still came across, Satsuki. That said. I'm very happy that everyone was able to come along on this trip.
Iori: We really put on a real spirited festival, didn't we? The reason it was so exciting was on account of both teams put 120% into all our performances.
Zen: Yes! cozmez, VISTY, AMPRULE, and of course, us in Akan Yatsura! By combining all of our strengths, all of our teams were able to achieve victory as a single unit! But more than anything, we wouldn't have been able to win this without all of the support we got from our sixth men! Everyone really worked so hard...! I'm so... truly... MOVED!!
Iori: Moving right along, today's the reward for all the hard work everyone put in. So, let's not hold back and let loose with some fun.
Reo: Yay! Ah, but, hey, hey, Aniki, are we really gonna head straight to the inn like this?
Iori: Hm? [checking the time] Ah, seems you got a point. It ain't time for checkin yet, so how about we take a stroll around the area for now?
Reo: Sounds good~!
Satsuki: Aniki! Can we grab some food?
Iori: 'Course you can, 'course you can. Go ahead and eat whatever you fancy.
Satsuki: Fuck yes!
Hokusai: ...?
Reo: Hm? What's up, Hokusai?
Hokusai: There's a drawing of a kitty on this poster. It's so cute.
Reo: Oh, so there is. Ehehe, it sure i-- ... huh???
Iori: Somethin' the matter, Reo? What'd you see?
Reo: [stammering] Th-thi-th-thi-th-th-th-thi-this is Oyuyu-chan on this poster!!
Zen: ... ... and, Oyuyu-chan is what, exactly...?
Iori: Oh? [walking over] "A Stamp Rally Whose Insane Difficulty Level is Higher than the Peak of Qomolangma^[1]!", it says. ... so, this is a poster for a stamp rally, then?
Reo: And the prize for completing it is Oyuyu-chan!! It's a bath fairy character that's been going super viral on SNS lately! No way, that's way too extravagant of a prize...! And, I mean, is the local mascot of this area...!
Satsuki: "Extravagant"? That dinky little stuffed doll?
Reo: I should have known you wouldn't get it. But it's super popular with girls, too! I bet you all the girls would be falling over themselves to talk to whoever had one!
Satsuki: YOU SERIOUS!?
Reo: Hey, hey, everyone, how about we do this together~? Lemme see... it looks like if we can complete the challenges at each stamp rally location, then they'll give us their stamp! I bet between the five of us working together, it should be no problem!
Iori: Well, if Reo wants to do it that badly, then seems like there's nothing to do but to do it!
Zen: Yes!
Reo: Really~?!
Hokusai: If there's something you want, Reo, then I want to help you get it, too.
Reo: Hokusaiii~! Thank yoooou~!
Satsuki: Seriously... guess my arm's being twisted. If there's somethin' you want, then just leave it to the great Satsuki-sama. No matter what kind of challenges get thrown my way, I'll man up and tackle it no problem, that's just how great I am.

[sfx: door opening]
Satsuki: [screaming bloody murder]
Reo: [yelling with hands cupped around mouth] Nice bungee jump, Satsuki-chan!!
[sfx: Satsuki screaming continues unabated in the background]
Zen: Well done!! You really went flying, Satsuki-kun!!
Iori: Whoa... the recoil really sent him flying that far back up that far after the first jump? Now that's what I call no fuckin' joke.
[sfx: Satsuki still screaming]
Hokusai: Satsuki has become a birdie.
Reo: Man, can't tell you how relieved I am that it was Sacchan who volunteered for this one.
Satsuki: [still screaming, in the distance] LET ME UP

Satsuki: Th-th-th-that was n-nothing!!!
Reo: You're putting on a brave face, but it looks to me like you're still trembling~?
Satsuki: THAT'S JUST MY WARRIOR SPIRIT
Zen: We all witnessed Satsuki-kun's act of bravery with our own eyes!!
Hokusai: You did a good job, Satsuki. Pet, pet.
Satsuki: [unconvincingly] Ahahahahahah. That was too easy.
Iori: Well then, next up is... [paper rustling] Oh~? So that's what they want us to do next, huh?
Zen, Hokusai, Satsuki, and Reo: ...?

[sfx: Iori's footsteps in geta]
Iori: Ah, here we go, here's the place. Old man~! Five katanuki^[2], please~!
[sfx: katanuki being handed out]
Satsuki: Huh? What's the big deal? Ain't these just regular katanuki? Compared to the bungee jumping I had to do, this is almost insulti--
Reo: No, wait, look carefully! The ones we got are all the super tough ones...! Don't they have anything a little easier?
Satsuki: Huh? Umbrella, bottle gourd, tulip, airplane, and... rabbit!? They can't be serious?? All of these are nothing but curved lines! This is straight-up unfair!
Iori: You all got a problem? If you're just gonna stand around hestiating then you don't get to complain when I take the easiest one for myself~.
Reo: Eh? But all of these are super hard, aren't they? But I guess the easiest one would be... ... ah! This one's a little thicker than the others, isn't it?
Zen: Indeed! Even if you have two of the same tulip shape, there are ones with thick bases that are easier, and there are ones with thin bases that are more fragile, and so, more difficult.
Satsuki: For real? How the hell are you supposed to tell the difference just by looking at them!?
Hokusai: This tulip here is... a harder one, isn't it?
Iori: Sure is. So be real careful when you make your choice!
Reo: Hm.... ahah! I found an easy one! I'm gonna do this bottle gourd one!
Satsuki: Hey, no fair, that was the one I was gonna-- ... ah, fine, I guess I'll do this umbrella one.
Hokusai: I'll do the bunny.
Iori: Then I'll take on the tulip~. Zen, can we count on you to do the airplane one?
Zen: Of course you can.
Reo: Just remember, guys, with katanuki, you don't get a second chance. Once you make a single mistake, that's it for you. So let's be really careful and be sure we succeed, alright?
Satsuki: Alright, let's do this!! I'm gonna knock this thing clean in one fell swoop and leave the old man runnin' this stall's jaw on the floor!
Zen: That's the spirit! It's time to show them the true power of the Suiseki!

[sfx: chipping away at the katanuki]
Zen: Satsuki-kun!! How is yours coming along?!?
Satsuki: [snap] [shriek] D-don't shout like that, Zen-nii!! You made me mess up!!
Zen: Ah...! I-I'm sorry...! But please don't worry. I'll carry on in your stead, Satsuki-kun! [noises of intense focus until--] [snap] --gh! AGH!
Satsuki: AAAGH!! See!? You ended up messing up yours, too, Zen-nii!!
Reo: C'mon... the two of you are just putting way too much strength into it. When you go around a curve, you gotta do it just like thi-- [snap] --! AHHHH!! I only had a little bit left to go!! That's so NOT FAAAIR!!! [sitting back] Hey, how about you, Aniki? How's yours coming along?
Iori: [snap] --! ... gh. Sorry about that, Reo. I screwed mine up, too.
Reo: B-but... at this rate, all of us are gonna--!
Hokusai: I'm done.
Reo: Huh?
Iori, Zen, and Satsuki: Huh??
Hokusai: Here you go, Reo. It's a bunny.
Reo: You did it!! Hokusai, you're sooo good at this! Thank you!! I expect nothing less of you, Hokusai! I thought we were totally screwed. I love you soooo much~!!
Hokusai: That makes me happy. Let's all work together to make sure we can get Oyuyu-chan, okay?
Reo: Yeah! We'll get it for sure! Next is... [paper rustling] It says there's a target shooting and punching machine over there at that game corner.
Iori: Oh~? Target shooting and a punching machine, y'say? Hah. Sounds like it's our turn at bat, don't you think, Zen?
Zen: Yes. Reo-kun, I promise you, I'll make up for my mistake with the katanuki.

Satsuki: Goddamn!! Aniki's shooting skills are way too good! Out of a hundred shots he didn't miss a single one! What a rush!
Iori: It's just a skill I sharpened way back in the day. It'd be real embarassing if I'd lost my touch! Hah. But something like that's no problem for me.
Hokusai: Meanwhile, Zen... seems to have set a new record.
Zen: Yes! I never doubted that my muscles would never let me down!! This is all thanks to my working out every day!! So, what do you say, Hokusai!? How about you start working out with me, too, starting tomorrow?!
Hokusai: I'm good, thanks.
[sfx: Reo approaching]
Reo: Everyone! I've got the envelope with the final challenge in it!
Satsuki: We're already at the last one, huh? So, what do we gotta do?
Reo: Alright, guys, here we go... I'll open it, 'kay?
Iori, Zen, Hokusai, and Satsuki: Okay!
[sfx: Paper rustling]
Iori, Zen, Hokusai, and Satsuki: Hmm...?
Reo: Um... "If you toss a 100 yen, 50 yen, and 10 yen coin at the same time, what are the chances that the total value of the coins that land on heads is at least 60 yen"...?
Satsuki: Huh?
Hokusai: A math question, then? If it's a question about probabiltiy.
Reo: Hah?! We came all the way out here and they're still going to make us think!? This biiiites!
Zen: If it's a question about probability, then surely, you guys have already studied this at school?
Iori: They sure have. So, that means we'll leave this one to you, highschoolers, then?
Reo: Eh? Did we learn this? We absolutely haven't learned this yet, have we?
Hokusai: No, I feel like we have.
Reo: Eh...?
Satsuki: So the idea is that you toss all three coins at the same time, right? If there's one heads and one tails, then the third one... no, wait, I mean... ... we only gotta worry about the ones that add up to eat least 60 yen, so... ... huh? No, wait, why are we throwing money around in the first place?? If you're not careful with money it's gonna come back to bite you in the ass, right?
Reo: Hold the phone, Satsuki-chan. If you don't know the answer, then put a sock in it! You're just making things even more confusing!
Satsuki: But this is a big deal!! If we just keep running in circles like this we ain't gonna be able to get the last stamp!!
Reo: That's--! ... well, yeah, that's true, but... [sighs] Someone lemme borrow a paper and pen.
Iori: Oh? You suddenly in the mood to work this out proper-like?
[sfx: paper rustling]
Reo: I don't know if I'm actually going to be able to solve it or not, but since we all worked together to get this far, I don't want everyone's effort to all go to waste, so...
Zen: That's very admirable of you, Reo-kun! If you just don't give up, I'm sure you'll be able to solve it! IF ANYONE CAN DO IT, IT'S YOU!!
Reo: Zen-nii, BE QUIET!! Um... so, if there was only one coin, then there'd only be two possibilities, right? [writing frantically] Either heads or tails. So, if we list out all of the possible combinations... in that case, the 100 yen coin can turn up either heads or tails, so then we move on and do the same with the 50 and then the 10... so there should be... uh, I think 8 different combinations...? So the ones that are heads up are... this one, and this one, and this one, and then... the ones that add up to at least 60 yen are... um... uhh...
[sfx: frantic writing continues]
Iori, Zen, Hokusai, and Satsuki: ...!
[sfx: pencil dropping]
Reo: So the answer is... five out of eight... I think?
Hokusai: Yeah, I think that's right. I got the same answer, too.
Reo: Really!?
Iori: Well done, well done.
Satsuki: Huh!? Wait-- am I the only one who doesn't get it!?
Zen: Satsuki-kun... when we get home, you should try focusing a little harder on your studies, okay?
Reo: Ehehehe! I'm great, aren't I~? Hehe~! Well, time to go get Oyuyu-chan!
[sfx: footsteps running off]

[sfx: crowd chatter]
Reo: Aw, come on!! If the Oyuyu-chan prize is out of stock, they should have said something at the start, no fair!!
Hokusai: That's unfortunate, isn't it, Reo...
Zen: But instead, we got a whole lot of local vegetables and regional snacks, but... [bags rustling] I do wish we could have gotten the mascot character that Reo-kun wanted.
Satsuki: Maybe they got more stowed away in the back or somethin'? I'll go ask again.
Reo: Nah, it's fine, Satsuki.
Satsuki: What's gotten into you? You gonna give up that easily?
Reo: Mm... well, I mean, I do still want it. But more importantly, I already had a lot of fun doing the stamp rally together with everyone, so I'm willing to be satisfied with that.
Satsuki: Yeah, but...!
Reo: I mean it! I'm fine. ... and I mean, it's been a while since all five of us have gotten to have a rowdy good time like this together outside of a concert, right?
Iori: Well, if you're putting it that way, hard to argue with that.
Reo: I guess it's like... ever since we found the old man's diary, I couldn't help but notice that everyone's been looking more and more serious.
Satsuki: --!
Reo: And I've had a lot to think about every day, too.
Iori and Zen: Reo-kun...!
Reo: The thing is, I really do get the way you guys feel about wanting revenge. I want it too. But, I also want to be able to treasure these moments that we get to spend together as a family.
Hokusai: Mm. I agree.
Reo: Today, I wasn't thinking about any of the difficult stuff I've been through. I was just thinking about hanging out with all of you guys to my heart's content; it was so much fun, and it made me so happy. So... I guess I'm happy enough, just having been able to do that.
Satsuki: C'mon, why are you saying all this like this is a one-day thing? Nothing's stopping us from making moments just like this going forward into the future, right?
Reo: Huh?
Hokusai: I think he's right. So let's all keep making memories together, okay?
Zen: Yes... yes!! That's SO RIGHT!! HE'S RIGHT, ISN'T HE, WAKA!?
Iori: Heh. Don't worry one bit about it. That's the plan.
Reo: --!
Iori: You're reminding me all over again of the thing that's actually most important to hold dear. Much obliged, Reo.
Reo: Aniki...!
[sfx: Satsuki's stomach growling]
Satsuki: --!
Reo: C'mon, Satsuki-chan, is this REALLY the time for that?
Satsuki: It ain't like I'm doing it on purpose!! I just ain't had anything to eat since lunch!!
Iori: It sounded like a real proper stomach growl straight out of a manga! Hah. Zen, I'm thinkin' it's about time, then, isn't it?
Zen: Yes! We should be able to go check in at any time now.
Reo: Ah, man... well, then, I wanna get moving! Using my brain really wore me out.
Satsuki: My stomach's hittin' its limit, too.
Hokusai: Mm. Let's all go eat a lot together.
[sfx: footsteps]
Reo: Hey, Zen-nii. What sort of place is it that we're staying at tonight?
Zen: The inn we'll be staying at is one that the Suiseki have used for a very long time. It was the old man's favorite place, you see.
Iori: Both the food and the onsen had the old man's endorsement, too, just so you're all aware, so you'd best look forward to that, too!
Satsuki: AlRIGHT! Once we get there, we're eating first thing!!
Reo: Ehh? But I want to go to the onsen first.
Satsuki: Everyone knows you gotta eat first, duh.
Reo: Onsen!
Hokusai: Aniki, will we all be staying in the same room?
Iori: What's this? You lookin' for special treatment now or something? You wanna do an impression of the river kanji?^[3]
Zen: River...? But if we're going for the river kanji, I feel like we have two too many lines for that...
Iori: Don't worry one bit about it, don't sweat the details.
Reo: Then I wanna be next to Aniki!
Satsuki: Hah. Don't be stupid. You ain't a little kid anymore, what're you running your mouth about?
Hokusai: Then I want to sleep next to Aniki, too.
Satsuki: Wh-- wai-- what??? Hokusai, no fuckin' fair!!
Zen: Just in case something were to happen, I think I should be the one who sleeps beside Waka.
Iori: Ahaha. Boy, it sure is tough work being so popular, ain't it~? Well, I've got an idea. Since we are Akan Yatsura, after all... [about face] How about we decide who sleeps where through a pillow fight~?
Zen, Hokusai, Satsuki, and Reo: --!
Reo: Wh-- hold on, if anyone hits cute little old me, then I'll never forgive him, got it!?
Satsuki: Let's go!! No way in hell I'm gonna lose!!
Hokusai: I'll do my best.
Zen: Yes! Let's give it all we've got!
Reo: Hey, did anyone hear me!? Hey!! C'mon, now I've got no choice but to dodge anything that comes flying my way...!
Iori: Ahahaha! Looks like everyone's in fine spirits! Well, then, everyone, make sure to do the best you can, a'ight?
[sfx: walking away]
Satsuki: I don't care if you're "cute" or not, I'm gonna absolutely straight nail you with a pillow.
Reo: Hokusai~, you'll protect me, right~?
Hokusai: Just leave it to me.
Akan Yatsura: [laughing]

[1] Qomolangma is the native Tibetan name for the mountain known in English as Mt. Everest. [Back]
[2] Katanuki, literally "die-cutting", is the activity, common at festivals, where you are given a piece of (unappetizing) candy (katanukigashi) with a molded shape, and the goal is to carve the shape out with a toothpick or needle without breaking the molded figure in order to win a prize. It's very similar to the Korean dalgona, and my understanding as someone who's never seen it is that this was something that happened in Squid Game so if that's your point of reference then there you go. [Back]
[3] This is a bit clumsy, but because Zen continues it, I have to explain it. 川の字(で寝る) means three people sleeping side by side, typically the parents (the longer lines) on either side of the child (the shorter line in the middle). [Back]

Drama: Battle of Unity - CHANCE After-Story